Ok, I'm not a Michael Jackson fan because of his later life. Thriller was an awesome album. Everyone can find a song they like on it. You have to give him credit for his work in pop music and across genres such as rock, rap, r&b ect... But, why are we surprised that he died? The man's been in surgery for the majority of the last 20 years cutting his face into an unrecognizeable mess. He put his body through so much strain, and not even while he was performing. It's always a tragedy when someone dies. Nobody deserves to lose life. But the real tragedy is the troops that are fighting for freedom who die just about daily. Do we know their names? No. Do we even care anymore? Honestly, we should care more.

Now onto some Michael Jackson jokes...

Farrah Fawcett made her journey to heaven and God told her that she can have one thing to leave on Earth. She said that she doesn't want the children to suffer anymore and lead happy lives. So God killed Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson's estate announced that he will not be buried because he's not biodegradeable.

Michael Jackson will be melted and used for lego's according to his estate. His will stated that he would like to be in the mouths of children after death as he was in life.


Too soon?

Tools...

I'm not quite sure why I picked out this shirt today. I like the font though. The saying is quite cliche yet funny...which you don't find too often.

So, today I will rant about tools. No! Not hammers and saws! But tools...you know? Assholes! By the way, the next few sentences will probably be littered with curse words, and yes I have a backspace, but I don't like reaching my pinky that far...So, you've been warned!

I hate tools! They are pretentious fucks who think the world revolves them! I deal with tools everyday at work. Unfortunately on multiple occasions and I happen to work for one as well. I pride myself on being able to pick up on the tool vibe early on in customer interactions and can usually steer a conversation in a direction to where they don't piss me off enough to go ape shit on them.. Today was not one of those days.

I had to deal with a customer who needed a warranty replacement on a device. We do not carry his particular device so we replaced it with a comparable model. However, the model is cheaper than what he paid for his device. So, instead of accepting the replacement with the same features, by the same manufacturer he pitches a bitch about how he paid $300 and the replacement only costs $200. And his is a touch screen (which constantly breaks down) and this model isn't! That is not comparable. Blah blah blah. To which I say, fine. I mean, I work with electronics. We all know that electronics hold their value so well. So I get a manager on the phone and of course he wants me to bend over backwards for this tool and do whatever it takes to get him out.

So I offer him an upgrade at no cost. The tool looks at the phone, clearly decides he doesn't like it, then says "That's not comparable too". To which I reply, "No, that's not comparable, that's an upgrade. Comparable was unacceptable to you. Now I'm allowing you to upgrade at no cost. You can take the upgrade, or we can give you the comparable unit." Well, you would have thought I called his mother a...well, due to my pinky not willing to reach the backspace I'll censor myself. But the word begins with "c" and ends in "unt". Now the tool is proclaiming that I'm being disrespectful and that he's been a customer for x number of years. To which I said, "I'll get my manager." He didn't even ask for a manager! I had to pull myself out of the game!

So, the manager gets done sucking the dude's...well...I'll have to censor myself again. But the word begins with "c" and ends in "ock". The dude leaves with the best, most expensive, device in the store. And now I've got heartburn. Thanks tool!

It's Been A While

It's been too long! Busy times around the Bennett household with a big merger at work and all. I threw together this design because it reminds me of my hometown and my friends back home, which I miss dearly. This quote "It's banana time!" is from a home movie that my friends and I made about a group of friends who go to spring break and get in trouble with the law. The police (played by Adam and Robbie) stole the show! We had no props. Adam had a banana for an unexplained reason and he threw it to Robbie over the car as he was interrogating me (the driver) Robbie then peels the banana in front of us in a seductive way as Adam screams "Do you know what time it is? It's banana time!"

I know many of you won't find it funny, but it always makes me laugh.

Here's to childhood memories!

This is how I'm feeling today...

Some People...

Why is it that some people take pleasure in others' pain? I've experience this first hand over the weekend. I learned that I'm not getting a raise at work. My boss was smiling the whole time while delivering this message to me. I'd like to say a word to my boss...


Boss. You are an asshole. You know that I have 2 children and a wife to support. You gave raises to others who didn't deserve it. I know that I don't kiss your ass. Do I need to kiss your ass? Or should I find a new place to work? Because I know that you won't be able to replace my productivity. You are a self centered, narcissistic shit for brains. You are a stupid, stupid man who cheated his way to the top. You lied on your resume and you commit commission fraud and give personal customer information to friends with other companies. You should be in jail, and you do not deserve your job. Kiss my ass Boss.


Thank you.

Bernie Madoff

This design is one of our newer one's, it's very popular and is getting a lot of hits! It's a ladies design primarily. It'd work good as a kid's tee as well. I decided earlier today, that I would add a little bit of my personality into this blog instead of just pimping my tee's so, here it goes...

I want to talk about Bernie Madoff. This guy was too smart for his own good. Usually ponzi schemes exist in the middle to lower middle class and creep into the lower class because people have wide eyed expectations of being rich by investing money into a pyramid scheme.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with pyramid or ponzi schemes, the basic sales pitch is this: "Put in $100 and when 20 more people invest $100, you'll get $20,000!" A normal person would say that $1000x20 people is $2,000. But the catch is the empty promises of making all this money that really doesn't exist. This is the reason why it's mainly been perpetuated in the "lower" classes.

Bernie Madoff had a good idea, an illegal idea, but a good idea. If rich folks are anything, they're greedy! So, if you tell a rich guy "Hey, give me $2 million and I'll invest it here and there and you'll get a 20-50% return on your investment." Any rich guy'll jump on it. Sure, what's $2 million among friends? Well, when you're Bernie Madoff and you parlay that into billions, that's a pretty sound scheme!

Bernie Madoff had, what most crooks don't ever experience. He had a conscience. Living well, better than well and providing for his family's family's family for generations and generations got to him because of the way he made his money. For that I say, boo! Madoff, if you felt that bad, build schools, donate to underpriveledged kids for their college education. Don't turn yourself in only to give your dough back to the government! We've seen what they can do!

That brings me to another point. This stimulus package...It's bogus. It's not going to stimulate anything but Nancy Pelosi's package. (By package I mean penis) This stimulus is a joke! You want to solve the economical crisis we're experiencing, this is how you do it...

Instead of blowing the money on giving it straight to the banks. Give it to the people. Not just anyone, give it to people who have their homes currently in foreclosure or have received notice of foreclosure. Now, we don't want to cut them a check in their name, so you (the government) should make a payment for their house to their lending bank, at fair market value. Next, you (the government again) tell the bank, "Ok, we've paid off house A, now you own the house. Sell it for whatever you can get for it. Family A is now your tenant and they will live in your house rent free for 3-6 months." So, the banks get fair market value for their property twice. Sounds like a sweet deal to me.

Now, about poor family A who lost their house. First, their credit's not destroyed. Second, they live in a house rent free for 3-6 months. Should be plenty of time to a. find a job (if they're jobless, which most of them are not) and b. find a rental.

To me, it's a win-win-win. Yeah, the homeowner still loses their house, but they gain repairable credit, respect for not having a foreclosure on their credit and a huge head start on a second chance. The bank, well they win because they'll get close to, if not more than what they loaned for the property in the first place (after the sale of the property). The government wins because they're killing 2 birds with one stone (or buckshot, whichever you prefer). They're saving the American people from the foreclosure crisis and they're saving the banks from their irresponsible lending crisis. Foreclosed families will have more money to spend, banks will have more money to lend to responsible borrowers...

I think there's a law stating that banks can't directly own property. That's the only flaw I see. I think that can be avoided by changing one word. And that's from "own" to "purchase". During these times, banks should own the property, they're not going out and purchasing new land. But the government is saying "Here, you own this now. You have to sell it, you can't take rent on it." This gives the bank a reason to sell..

Makes sense to me.